99th Percentile

It's good to feel fatigue, as it has an ironic placebo effect that puts me into mental stability. It practically makes me feel heartless, as I feel no emotion whatsoever, but I can keep up with a decent and civil conversation.

If I'm keeping track (which I am), I've only told two girls that I like then way past a platonic relationship. One four years ago, and one today.

The difference between the two besides the obvious matter of time is the manner of how I did it. And I'm telling this in a long-story-short manner.

Freshman year in High School, I was too straightforward spending my five bucks on heart box shaped chocolates and a card, only to be told "Uh, no", to be followed with an "I only like you as a friend". As for the aftermath of this fiasco, I didn't talk to this person after two years, but we're friends now. Or so, I would like to think.

Compared to today, I told this person that I liked them through facebook chat.

Yes, I know a lot of people would be major raging right now, and might have these thoughts:

1. DOOD!
2. WHAT THE FUCK!
3. Pussy.
4. Insert your own thought here.

Thus, the fatigue-iron-man-causing effect.

While the conversation itself had the same ending of "I only like you as a friend", it went more casually, I handled it more maturely stating that this can't fly, nor this can happen, and all the blah blah that follows it. (Yes, I said blah blah)

After that conversation, I feel like I can sleep better and maybe work more efficiently tomorrow (I seriously hope I don't wake up all alert, then the thought reappears in my head and starts bugging me).

While I would like to analyze all my flaws, I really don't want to do it, but I would like to point out a couple of things.

1. A friend told me that some people don't mind being told that they are liked beyond a friendship online. I told her that the percentage of said "some" people are the 99th percentile of the women in this world, if not this country. Let me just say that this was flaw number one, and I really don't think that the result would be any different if I did it another way around.

2. It feels freakin' good to be rejected while being tired. Not saying I'm going to it often in the same manner, but it kind of gives me something to laugh about. I know, classic ass move, but life's not really fair. So, if life doesn't want to be fair and wants to laugh at me, I kind of have a right to make an ass out of it too, in some way.

3. This reminds me to read Tucker Max and buy his book, but there are only three players to hit the 700 homerun mark in all of baseball, and they did so because they took their chances and never held back. One might have an asterisk, but seriously. I don't think you could do the same thing to another person and have them hit the same number. But that's a whole different discussion.

Anyways, off to sleep and I don't know how to celebrate my freedom. Probably more tasks, because I'm meant to be kept busy anyway.