Felix Felicis

If you don't know what Felix Felicis is, then you should either read the sixth book of the Harry Potter series. Of course, if we don't like reading HP for some reason (I.E - reading sucks, or just a preference in a type of book), you can always get yourself a movie to see the movie, have a good time and help it's cause to beat Titanic in the all-time box office.

Anyways...

Felix Felicis is what Horace Slughorn calls "Liquid Luck",, as huge amounts of this liquid is fatal as it would lead to overconfidence (the simplest way to put it, I suppose). I wonder what really does happen when there is an overdose of Fsquared. Would it have an opposite effect? If so, what happens then?

I recently commented on Jacklynn's photo of Tanner (shoutouts, woot) where she took the picture and Tanner hit a homerun just after. We all know as well as I do that luck is never planned, and if it ever was, then I'm an Iron Chef.

I find myself writing this piece because I felt like I've needed some luck lately: money issues as to whether I get paid (and should ask if I really am or not), and everything else in between. I've made a note to myself to not base my decisions on emotions or the consequences would most likely be harsh (or odds say so at least).

There's an old cliche going around that we would never know unless we try. It's true. As much as I want to play it safe, I also want to find out things that would at least satisfy my most critical questions, and because I want to survive my job for more than two weeks, I don't want to do it.

I really wish I had a bottle of Felix Felicis and consumed it, or at least a Harry Potter figure that

fools me into believing that there was some on something that I just drank.

Running thoughts of a gym rat.

I went to the gym and I think I'm sleeping well tonight.

This marks my fifty-seventh blog on my career (really, there's more than that, but the latter are incomplete, untitled and substance-less if you will).

As I'm typing this, there are many thoughts running through my head, from what to bring to the gym tomorrow, to what I'll do tomorrow, or what would my second job be (I have yet to ask Chris about that). As far as this summer is concerned, it's starting to get somewhere as I'm finding things to do for myself - going to the gym, work, which are things that occupy my time and does not leave me bored for a single minute. Okay, work can be boring too, but there's always something to do within the next two or three minutes, so that assumption is out of the window.

As the days of August tick by, I'm slowly realizing how my friends would be gone in days, and how every single one of us would be meeting new people, taking supposedly harder and paid-thousands-of-dollars-for classes, etc. I'm not going to lie, I'm psyched for all of us, and I'm pretty sure that as much as it is different, we'll all lead ourselves to our busy lives that at some point, someone will put a status up on facebook complaining about a paper due the next day, or an old guy checking them out on the street...

I also was thinking the concept that I would bring to the Food Network, if I were ever to be a part of the NFNS (Next Food Network Star). I would say, it's...

Fresh off the boat - You never saw it coming.

But yes, that is my thought dump for today.

Before I leave, I am proud to say that I had my first Chile Relleno today! It wasn't what I expected, but it was good nonetheless!

So, the Next Iron Chef competition is due again in December. If the choices are based on people who have competed in Iron Chef America, then these are my picks:

1. Michael Cimarusti

2. Marcus Samuellson

3. Govind Armstrong

4. Anita Lo

5. Ming Tsai

6. Sam Mason

7. Tim Love

8. April Bloomfield

The Million Dollar Question

I'm looking at the application for CIA, and it asks the question as to who influenced my interest in the foodservice and hospitality field (in 400 - 500 words). Here's my answer:

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My journey to finding my interest in the foodservice/hospitality field has been a very unusual one. Growing up in the Philippines, my mother set up a pension plan for me to go to a college that focuses on medical studies. Years went by and in 2000, my mother left for the states for a better life, therefore I was left with the hands of my father.

My father would make one of my favorite dishes ever: Kaldereta, a stew of potatoes with chilies, liver spread, tomato sauce and the basic aromatics (Onion and Garlic), along with a cold glass of Coke. When he didn't make anything, we would end up in my grandmother's house, where an assortment of food on the table was served: Dinuguan, Kare-Kare, Adobo. Little then did I realize of my passion for food: I only liked the idea of it for consumption and energy.

The idea of this changed after following my mother in the States in 2002. During that time, I came here with a small suitcase, and a huge enthusiasm as a fan of the Los Angeles Lakers as well as basketball. Over the years, that would change as I discovered sports such as tennis, baseball and football.

On a tired night during my sophomore year, the series premiere of Top Chef was shown, and I instantly fell in love with it for its good amount of movement as well as the beauty of the final product itself. Much like my love for food during my younger years, I still was unaware that this was for me until I worked in my mom's office as an assistant, which I found incredibly tedious and boring.

Time once again flew by, and my love for food was growing stronger as I religiously watched the Food Network ever since I got cable and I never missed a Top Chef episode during its solid five seasons. Together with my religious passion for food shows added my passion for movement and the idea of being on the big stage that playing sports have provided me has solidly confirmed of me wanting to be a chef.

When I was interviewed for C-CAP, Richard Grausman, cookbook author asked me as to what my plans were for my future. I remember telling him that I wanted to own my own restaurant and call it Eversoul - an idea inspired by my childhood through a fictional item called an Eversoul Knife which revives the freshness of any product once this knife touches it, as well as to travel around the world. After that, I really did not know what to say except that my hard work will pay off and life will put me where it wants me to put it.

When it all comes down to it, a person didn't influence me into this business. Much like a good plate of food, every piece has it's purpose, and all that needs to be said is that all the people that I have met in my life helped me to get where I am today, and with that passion and support behind me, I never looked back.

Like my colleague Arielle Pardes, I didn't say or write this

I've been looking for this one specific episode of The Next Food Network Star for this one speech. It's definitely worth the wait for it to come out online, but I'm proud to say that I'll be living by these words for the rest of my life.

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"I read recently that we shouldn't fear failure. We should fear success at the wrong thing. I don't want this job to win. I want this job because it matches who I am. My mom was a college student: Single and raising two little girls. She was my first inspiration for cooking. We had a party every year, our mother-daughter holiday (celebration) that we would cook for months for. So that's where I learned how to cook for people and bring joy to them. When I was in college, my mom committed suicide. I was left on my own to cook. So that's where I got very good at getting a meal at the table, and when I went off to business school, I clawed my way up the corporate ladder, I had over ten years of fantastic success. My mind was fed, but my soul was completely undernourished. Julia Child says "Don't be afraid". So I am standing here in front of you not afraid because I may fail, but I'm failing at the right thing. Bon Appetit."

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http://www.fancast.com/tv/The-Next-Food-Network-Star/96105/1196184748/VIP-Party-in-Miami/videos

(between 15:00 to 17:00 - just an approximate time)

Oh so grand, so elusive.

I remember on a YnG meeting night when this one girl came in. She seemed shy, and came with a friend. As Secretary(or clerk, pick your poison), I signed her up and told her to join a group for an icebreaker.

As she walked away, I told myself: This is the girl I'm taking to prom.

Days went by, and way before prom she was gone to another place - known to her, but unknown to most.

The best comparison that I made then was nothing, but now, it's as if I was Andy Roddick playing at Wimbledon only by coming close to the prize, having the opportunity to see it, but not seize it.

It stings, it really does.

Then yesterday (same day of the nicked finger), the same thing from a year ago happened - This one, I'm not going to take to prom, or even try as I've done one prom, and I'll never deal with that mess again, but the same feelings came up again.

I really do wonder though, would I really see Andy Roddick win another Grand Slam again?

It's hard to type without a middle finger.

Yesterday in working for my second day at the Country Club, I managed to nick myself on the finger with a dull knife - let that be a lesson that a dull knife is much more harmful than a sharp one - A paradoxical truth, if there was one.

I finally know the feeling of waking up in the morning and looking forward to go to my job. Sure, though there are a couple language and culture barriers to go around, but beyond all that thickness (accent and all), there's education involved.

But yes, I do a lot of prep work in the CC, thus the result of my finger getting cut deep. I would take a picture of it, but I'm not proud of it as it might go to Rotten.com, or some website of the sort...

August is almost near, and a good chunk of my friends are leaving for their respective colleges. Bitter that I'm not one of them yet, but I'm on my way there, and I don't even want to think about the prospect me counting how many more days are left before I leave California...

As of this point, I'm tired, bored, and hungry. For some reason, I want to go to see a movie, play tennis - anything that puts me in escape of this reality... at least for the moment...

Tired and Working

It's feels weird to be a functioning part of the society.

Today, I started my work at the Country Club. It's definitely different from what I expected, but I definitely had fun because I never had a dull moment until the end, five minutes before going home.

After work, I literally slept for three, or four hours until my mom called me from Lake Tahoe camping (still somewhat bitter that I didn't get to go camping with Katz and crew, but I'm way past that bitterness and mumbo jumbo).

So here I am, still awake typing this blog, talking to one of my better friends, Aubrey. (I don't believe in the best friend theory, but if you want to have a conversation with it, I'm definitely down since everyone loves a good conversation)

I was watching FOX the whole night for the whole time I've been awake (the other hour was when I microwaved chicken meatballs and attempted to make a sunny side up egg - I really do wonder how people do it, it pisses me off). One of the shows was Hell's Kitchen - it really does scare the shit out of me, both as a person and a future chef, since all those mistakes shows that even the most capable of people can be vulnerable to mistakes, and Gordon Ramsay demeaning people in a very fast rate just adds the cherry on top I suppose....

The other show that I watched was called "More To Love" - supposedly another version of the Bachelor (after all, it was from the makers of "The Bachelor"), and I thought the show was cute, ridiculous, common... too many thoughts follow after that. I guess all it does is it advertises or promotes some sort of admiration for the human form, advertise plus size. Call me ignorant, but I have far too many thoughts in this show and I'm typing this half asleep...

I also just realized that in a matter of weeks, I'll be able to produce Just Dood It shirts. I still have to design it, but if people want one, get one... later on.

Complex Carbohydrates

Food Fact: The origin of most alcoholic beverages are from starchy products such as potatoes, rice and wheat.

Therefore, this question: What's the connection between starchy products, and alcoholic beverages, besides the one posted above?

Starchy products contain complex carboyhdrates, and a certain person drinks one, I act towardly around them...

For some reason, I've been a main attraction to the blacked out and the buzzed. Last night, I dealt with a blacked out cousin who left three voicemail messages that I got a really good laugh out of, and wished I had a camera to put his shameful yet funny actions on YouTube and tonight I dealt with a buzzed, buzzier and sober (I liked the sober one - he had a brain)

I got a call around midnight tonight to pick a friend up since this specific friend was buzzed (therefore the statement above). So, due to an act of kindness as well as one to kill time (I suppose), I drove to the place, picked the people up and drop them off.

In the middle of this ride, I found myself once again gravitating for this person, as I have done several times in the past. I have to be thinking to myself at this point that I am more complex than a complex carbohydrate because I have so many sides of my personality in this one: The parental saying that I don't really care and do it in moderation, The friend who tries to create the small talk, and the geek who couldn't find the words to say to the hottest cheerleader in school.

From that point on, I really had nothing to say - drove home, put everything away as if nothing happened, had a meal of too much spaghetti with a little bit of stale garlic bread...

Irony how this came from a person who just ate complex carbs...

2 O' Clock Blues

I'm supposedly awake at two in the morning because I've got a missing racket, and a drunk guy to deal with.

The fun side of these drunk people is that I wish I had a fucking camera around. I wouldn't really drop the F-bomb here, but saying that only emphasizes as to how necessary the camera is. I mean really, you can get them to believe that blue is red, or Lindsay Lohan is straight. On the downside however, they talk excessively and keep you up in the morning...

I guess that's what partially summer's all about: getting wake up by some drunk dude and in turn you're permanently up. (I suppose that a two hour nap helps as well in the matter of being awake later than my supposed bedtime.)

Besides the drunk guy, I'm paranoid about my racket. Really, it's a five buck Salvation Army racket, but I care about it so much because I feel good while playing on it... Sigh, I really do hope that I get it back on monday, or someone else has it.... if not, it's back to Salvation Army for me to buy a new racket. If not, just look for the same dimensions, hopefully more beasty and more pretty...

Talk-o Tuesday

It's very exciting when a dog learns new tricks...

For instance, I just imported this blog into Facebook so that it posts not only here, but there as well, making it more convenient for people to read!

Speaking of learning new tricks, or learning in general that I was an uber-noob in playing regular poker with a bunch of guys who know about it more than I do. My problem is not so much with the Ron White issue, being that I can't see my odds compared to others as well as their cards, but I'm too mild-mannered. It's as if I'm not myself... For some reason though, after a couple sips of Arizona, I felt a bit better, a little more loose I suppose - playing better.

And speaking of luck, I remember watching an episode in Reba (definitely a good show), where Reba wasn't feeling lucky at all, and she asks Van as how to feel lucky. "You just feel...lucky" - That's the advice that he gave.

Another thought that I'm having in my mind is a guilty conscience for calling an employer multiple-as in possibly too many times about a job/internship/work-study, pick your poison. I now know the feeling that Andy Kamm was describing in Economics class saying that if people are deprived of water, they become extremely animalistic, which in metaphorical terms, a response deprivation led me to desperation calling at least three wrong numbers from an outdated catering website, missing the last digit of a phone number, leaving several messages, etc.

In more about my impatience, I also received a letter from Johnson and Wales about their Welcome Week Brochure, right before getting the mail, just right after getting the call about starting on Tuesday. It's like "Seriously God, can I just please have a break?". I know there's a year left, and much like Julie did, I've got to suck it up, except that it wasn't a what seems to be a biohazard in Julie's fridge...

Tomorrow's Wednesday, and I'm pretty sure that the whole guilt trip about the multiple call debacle would be over, much like that other problem I had with something that my mom said in the past...

To Que: It didn't take me ten years.

(Locating Que: See Dodgers logo. Follow down the line, look for a off-white shirt with black stripes)

Since my good friend Quemars Ahmed was having a hissy bitch fit about his name not being on the Associated Press article in which Manny Ramirez passed Mickey Mantle with his 537th homerun, I'd figure that I'd put a nice little touch of "FOB" on it.

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Manny Ramirez of the Los Angeles Dodgers moved past Mickey Mantle and into 15th place of the career homerun list Monday night, hitting a two run shot off Cincinatti's Micah Owings for the 537th of his career.

Ramirez, who tied Mantle on July 10, drove a 2-0 pitch into the left filed pavilion, a ball caught buy La Canada's own Quemars Ahmed, to give the Dodgers a 6-3 lead. The crowd at Chavez Ravin yelled Quemars' name in unison hoping for a camera shot of him waving the milestone that never came.

Regarding the catch, Ahmed says that "he felt for bad for the guys who lost it", then goes asking if he saw him in television.

Ramirez's next target is Mike Schmidt at 548 homeruns, and here's hoping that he catches this one as well.

Still Simmering.

I had an interview this Tuesday at the Manhattan Country Club, and I'm supposed to get a call by Thursday, which is today.

Not getting the call puts a lot of thoughts in my head such as if I did something wrong, Chef's very busy, I didn't smile enough during the interview, I gave him the wrong number, etc.

Just because of that, I finally feel a girl's pain when a guy says he'll call, but doesn't.

Because of this situation, I've had my phone with me at all times today, constantly waiting for a call - much like watching a boiling pot.

There's a phrase that goes: "A watched pot does not boil", and perfectly applies in this situation.

Because I've been waiting for that one call, I've been nervous, a Negative Nancy to a degree, and pissed out of my mind - really, a bad combination for a very good summer day.

Therefore, I wanted to take a mental health day for myself - but can't seem to pull it off. I wanted to go to Best Buy and "shop" around for an iPod converter for the car, and play free Rock Band/Guitar Hero while I'm at it, or go to Borders and read some Cooking books - after all, a little enlightenment during the summer won't hurt.

I also feel like doing these things such as getting a basketball and shoot hoops all day at Rowley Park, or go to Venice Beach and feed Chex Mix to seagulls in miracles of hearing "Mine?, Mine?" (which obviously won't happen - as rule of nature states... bah). Maybe it's because of my lack of cash, or effort?

Not to find a reason to depress or piss myself off, but I'm so desperate for an internship that I don't even care if I work for free because this is the best culinary school I'm going to. It's like, I need one so that I know what I can do next - come up with creative ways to earn money, or apply for an internship somewhere in Venice...

I believe that something is simmering in this moment - I can feel it, and I can smell it (hope The Rock's not cooking it). Until then, I'll wait for this simmer to come to a boil and enjoy summer like regular people are.

AVP Tour is this Saturday, I can't wait.

Box of Shapes

I was cleaning through my computer earlier and saw my essay when I was applying for CONA.

I'll always remember that last night at Sacramento where "Westchester" was called and Scott's name followed.

Four months have past, school ended, people graduated, and people had a blast at CONA. I completely forgot about it until Facebook posts and pictures were finally up.

I then realized this : There's a toy from our childhood where there were shapes, in one big box, and you try and pick up the shapes and put them into the hole that fits. The box signifies as to how a lot of us - people with potential belong in the same box, but divided because of our different shapes in our career paths, in our choices, in our skill sets.

Having the usual is good when you're eating, but there's a reason why there's a menu: So you can change your usual.

Monkey Bars

So I just got back from Hemet for a niece's birthday. My shoulders ache at this moment, it's late at night, I'm tired, but I'm here writing anyway.

The thing that I vividly remember the most was this kid who wanted to cross the monkey bars. My initial thought was "What the hell", as I continued sitting on my swing silently. But this certain kid was so determined to cross the monkey bars as he said "Please, help me across, or else I'm going to die". So out of kindness I helped the kid across, he went down and went running onto the pool (or somewhere else, not knowing his exact whereabouts).

I don't know why this kid wanted to cross the monkey bars even though I said no at least three times (or really, who keeps track) but his perseverance and happiness in the end capped off my day by inspiring me to write about this, as well as visit a good fraction of my childhood albeit it's tiny proportion.

Although we as adults have a more developed mind than a kid who is at least five to seven years old, there is always a part of us that wants to cross certain monkey bars in our lives. Sometimes, there are obstacles in some derivative of a refusal due to a lack of trust or spontaneity within them.

After all, "Journey" once said that "Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling."

Cheetos and Diet Coke

Although I think that spending the night on a beach with a gallon of Diet Coke and a bag of Cheetos while feeling the ocean breeze is one of the greatest feelings ever, it's always the greatest feeling when I help someone out with their problems. It makes me feel as if I am a real friend to that person while gaining a better perspective in life.

Silly Putty

It took a silly putty to revitalize Rusty Cartwright's dream of becoming a polymer scientist.

For all it's worth, a silly putty can't get my anything, and I could probably get myself a greasy five dollar box meal from KFC instead of buying one.

But why a silly putty?

Rusty thought that the silly putty was amazing for all the things it could do: it could bounce, it had the clay-like characteristics, or it could copy pages from comics and transfer them to another sheet of paper.

I just realized why I haven't been able to write as well or as freely as I could: I had no inspiration to write much like Rusty Cartwright had no inspiration to study polymer science anymore because he thought that the seminar he was attending at the time was long, tedious and boring.

At some point of our lives, we will lose passion for what we want to do because we have doubts within ourselves, or the standards that we have to upkeep to keep our dreams satisfied. Sometimes, it takes a silly putty, or an object of your choice to remind us of what we are doing, what and what we want to do because we know that deep down inside, we know that we are not faking our ambitions.

P.S - Watch Greek. It's awesome.

Sunshine Cleanse

Today, I found myself with nothing to do except watch "Greek", watch a pomeranian and a beagle sleep, and play chess online so I decided to clean up.

While cleaning up, I found a lot of "crap" from my four years of High School - I swear, I didn't even know I had these things lurking around in my notebook until now... at least I know some of them...

One of the things that I had to clean out today was my red college folder, as it had the stuff from Johnson and Wales on it.

I remember the day when I got the folder (and for underclassmen that are applying to college next year, getting the folder means you got accepted, and if you get the small envelope, then... you know the rest), I was ecstatic and started filling it out that day that I actually got so busy for those three weeks that I had to stress over a hundred and fifty dollar medical bill and the hassle of three hundred dollars to pay my deposit while calling the school to make sure that it actually went through.

Then, fast forward to today, it ended with a single email: "You are now coded as Will Not Enter for JWU Fall 09-10. Good luck in CIA and have a good summer".

At that moment, it felt like I shot myself in the foot, but I dodged it somehow with an accomplishment of another scholarship on deck, which has the conditions of me of not failing (anything with a C from this point on is plainly unacceptable).... It's scary.

Another thing that I had to clean out today was my notebook. I found recommendation letters for a YnG internship, a recommendation letter from two years back (I still can't believe that I wanted to go to Berkeley and ultimately failed in the end), statistics notes and bored blogs, as I would like to call them.

Despite all of this nostalgia of the 12-step process of getting over high school, I find myself wanting to frame certain mementos - From drawings in statistics class to bored blogs to doodles in Sacks', but can't as either it's with someone else, or I threw away most of them by now besides that one specific doodle.

Ultimately, I learned that getting rid of most things that remind myself of the past is the best way to get over it and actually move on. Unless I find a better solution, then this better is method for now.

College - Before the women and the drinking.

Why is it that everytime I figure something out, something else comes along?

For instance, I register today at El Camino, and picked out my classes. Then, I read the note with the placement paper: Go to a counselor for an orientation meeting, and pick out your classes.

What.

For some odd reason, the thought of not having a counselor since "I know what I'm doing" notion seems weird. I'm used to having counselors and all that, and it seems that not having one is unorthodox or illegal.

Maybe I should just do what I think's right. After all, I have nothing else to lose except time, two dollars and maybe drips of gas.

My Graduation Speech.

“All great things must come to an end”. Should it? Some of us say that high school is currently the best time of their lives. “Yeah, so far”, as Homer Simpson would say. Class of 2009, we have lived seventeen or eighteen years and we’re already declaring that our high school experiences are the best times of our lives?

Dreams do not need age to come true. What it really needs is passion.

A month ago, I went to Colorado for a college tour, saw a parent and wondered to myself: What is she doing here?

It turns out that she is planning to be a student at this college, and when we introduced ourselves, she said: “I came from Puerto Rico with two children, and now that they are gone doing their own thing, I can finally do what I have been wanting to do this whole time!”

Ladies and Gentlemen, This woman perfectly embodies this year’s class motto: “The key to happiness is having dreams. The key to success is making them come true”. This woman endured time and other intangibles such as the happiness and the trouble that kids bring to pursue her dream.

At that moment, it humbled me; an eighteen year old with dreams of being one of the best chefs in the country, reminding me to not take my chances for granted as well as fight for every opportunity possible.

All great things will come to an end if we let it, and as for us students, High school might be the greatest time of our lives so far, but it won’t be our greatest one (as our parents might agree to that) as there will be years ahead of us where anything anything can happen that our high school memories will become second or third fiddle to our best memory – whatever it may be – yet.

Like this woman who is closing her chapter on motherhood to pursue something that satisfies her, we are closing our chapter of childhood to do the same thing, as we are welcomed to the real world after receiving these high school diplomas.

Let this thought strike fear in your heart momentarily as every adult here has felt this fear at some point of their life. However, let it not strike fear in our hearts forever as we know that we have our family, friends, and God(who we all would like to generally thank), who have instilled their wisdom upon us for the same purpose: To prosper in the next stage.

Remember that much like a tree, we grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one, and each of our lives will always be a special part of the other’s, where we will be always remembered by someone, and much like reading a book, you can always go back to it, no matter how many times you do so.

Raunchy for Teriyaki?

Does anyone have of those moments where someone sees something that reminds them of someone? In a bad way?

I was watching a Carls Jr. commercial with Audrina Partridge on it (from "The Hills") that advertised their Chicken Teriyaki Six Dollar Burger, and it was civil, until I looked at her, and thought to myself: "Hm, she looks like someone I know". I kept thinking, and there it was. (Won't exactly say who the person is, but if someone brings it up with me in a conversation, then I just might talk about it.)

Not that I don't like Carl's Jr. or anything as I usually eat there for pre and post Youth and Government conferences, but thinking about that person in the same league as Audrina Partridge is shallow, and offensive.

Then again, that's just me.

Riese's Pieces

The idea of "Just Dood It" came to form when the graduating seniors from Youth and Government Class of 2009 went to Diddy Riese's.

I remember vividly that night when Me, Eric, Jeff, Nik, Ramez, Chris , Julie, and Lynora were patiently waiting at the line patiently for our Ice Cream Sandwiches, or very cheap cookies by the dozen, Lynora told me to make a shirt that says "Just Dood It". Everyone else agreed, and I've been on a mission to get the shirt made.

Apparently, to this point, I still have an orange "Just Do It" shirt, but not a "Just Dood It"one for the lack of a job, and without one, there's no cash flow, and if there's no cash flow?

You get the idea.

Then came AP testing, final exams, graduation, Trevor Ariza reppin' C-Town as well as the Lakers for their fourth title, and here I am finding myself doing this blog just for the sake of having fun. That, and I felt like I needed a new blog anyway - It's college, and it's time to start off with a clean slate.

If this blog ever goes off the charts popular or anything close to it, I'd give myself a light chuckle, since Jeff made the Culinary Boner shirt vocally popular in NIC, and Lynora for suggesting the quote itself.

At that note, here's hoping that Nike doesn't sue me, and if Food Network ever asked me the best cookies that I ever had, Diddy Rieses would be at the top of my list. :]

Too long for yearbooks, Part One.

This hour is my last one as a high schooler.

Technically, I still would have to wait some eighteen hours, a graduation ceremony, and a diploma to officially end my career as a high schooler, but what the heck.

Graduations are like birthdays - it ends a time period, yet it starts a new one at the same time.

Since I don't have to be in school tomorrow - maybe just waking up at 9:30 or so, so that I could play tennis with my buds as a student one last time, I'll just write my heart out.

We write a lot of things in yearbooks - some meaningful, some not so much due to variables such as the strength of a friendship, or the amount of space a person gives you to sign (I.E - Do not write on the back of the yearbook, this is my man's page).

I personally love to sign yearbooks: It leaves my mark in there, somewhat a territorial thing within one's heart, or something of the sort. Yet, much like I've said before, there is no point to satisfaction - we want to add something more, and more, and more until it becomes perfect, or overkill.

Not saying that these people that I've known in my high school career will be gone forever, but I want to write something more meaningful where my space or time isn't limited by a vice principal's speech, or a rush because someone else needs to sign it, so here goes:

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1. Hassan - You're the first person I've met at Westchester. Like most friendships, I've had times that I regret meeting you for the things that you've done, or did, or currently doing, but there were times that we got along too well for our own good. Basically, the theory of opposites attract applied to us, and I can't believe your ass might be stuck here forever. Here's hoping that it won't happen.

2. Tobin -There's a debate about you being either the smartest kid in school, or a straight up hard-worker. Some people say that you're hardworking because you get all these straight A-s and stuff. I think it's simply a combination. You can be smart and not hardworking, and it'll still get you a 3.0, or a 3.5, such as in my case, if you get lucky. You can be hardworking, but not smart, but that just means that you took really easy classes, or you're a big fish in a small pond. Once again, you've proven yourself to be a big fish in a pond with big fishes in a small pond. Congratulations in being Valedictorian, you've earned my respect and so many others' as well.

3. Kendra - There is a common phrase that is used around: "Diamond in the rough" - it's not so much for your academics, but it's more of a personality thing. I met you freshman year, and you were the silent type, and didn't really hear from you much during conversation. Like a diamond in the rough, I simply had to find and polish the "dirt" out of you, per se, and let the real beauty of it shine through. I really am amazed at this beauty, both physically (Let the person who has not thought the same thing stone me first) and personally. I don't blame you if you make a ton of friends in Utah because they see such beauty described, but I really hope that you don't forget me.

4. Nathan - You've literally changed in front of me - physically, that is. As for your personality, it stayed the same. For some reason, much like other people who have tried and avoid me, there is this certain charm or swagger to you that just attracts people - perhaps, it's the witty side of you as I've heard and received your comments. If anything, I'd compare you to an ice cream cone - no matter what the dip on the outside is, it's still Vanilla. Stay chill and tasty, but remember, i'm not having a culinary boner over you.

5. Nik - I still hate you for making fun of Rascal Flatts in Kohon's class - I remember asking you if you knew the progression for this song, and you went "what the fuck" is this. I also remember adding you in MySpace as Captain Cocker - I really don't know what they mystery behind that is, and I don't want to know. If anything however, you somewhat deserve that name based on our mutual instances with your dick, nohomo (Nelsen's Class and BOB1) - That picture's up on the internet, and next time that they ask me about it, I'm calling you on your phone to give that explanation.

6. Wendy - "Women are like eggs, dude". I at least know five ways to cook an egg, and if I missed any, then that's why I'm going to New York for. There's a reason to this analogy. Your personality is highly varied compared to the others I know where some are plain douchebags, some are plain boring, some are plain enthusiastic. Because of this varied personality, I can never figure you out - pisses me off sometimes, to be honest. Here's a better analogy that I could come up with though: If you cook eggs right though, it's heaven and it's worth it. I know, but I don't hope that this is a little too late, but you are one egg that I really want to try and figure out.

7. Sarah - I personally thought that meeting people via social networking was B.S - (see E-Harmony, and the sort). You as a woman had more balls than I ever had (Yes, I'll sincerely admit, for now), inviting me to your New Year's party, trusting that I'm not some lurk (ahem, Hassan). Ever since that day, I think our friendship has grown slowly (really slowly, in my opinion) because of our few encounters in YnG, and whereever Oliver hangs out these days. But really, I wouldn't fix something that's not broken because obviously (either that, or I'm very oblivious to this fact) that this friendship is still growing with drips of water and rays of sunlight at a time. By the way, I still owe you thirteen bucks for that camping trip, and I need to find a hot plates - who doesn't like crepes?

8. Mark - Everytime I look for a job these days, there's this voice at the back of my head saying "You know why you can't get a job?" - You asshole. I'm glad to discover that we're both in the same neighborhood. To be honest, I'm happy to know a person who's blunt as you, but still an asshole (even though it's ground beef, it's still beef - if you don't get that analogy, call me). Because of this personality of yours, I've developed in my opinion the better, if not the best conversations with you because they actually make me think. By the way, you need to learn how to bike if you're gonna survive college. Walking can be over-rated at times, you know?

Dream Night

Have I ever told you about my dream night?

If so, here it is:

Going to Ralphs with at least fifty dollars, spending thirty on wood, some chips and soda, and heading down to a beach, sitting beside a warm fire while reading a good book, or listening to music.

I might do it on grad nite - I love my friends and all, but I believe it's time I separated myself from that mess and gave myself a nice graduation gift.  After all, Silence is the gift of the gods, and we all deserve it once in a while.  

That, and why the hell do I want to pay seventy for Chester's grad nite, while Gundo pays 26?

Separation Anxiety

I never thought I would have this feeling again after I left Sacramento for the last time.

What feeling is it?  See title above.

I, along with a ton of 12th grade delegates have expressed in our own separate ways as to how we will miss Sacramento, or Youth and Government program itself as a whole.

I remember saying to myself that we can always come back to the program (like a good uncrustable - shout out to Brandon Kim) as interns or advisors, much like my advisors have after their time as delegates for at least seven years or so (not sure on the time-frame part, but it's welcome for any correction).  

After writing that blog, I felt separation anxiety for a week, talking to my newfound YnG friends (which reminds me, I feel the need to talk to them these days - I don't want to make these friendships a one week stand, or anything of the sort) and past memories, whatever it may be from Spring Conference to NIC first round commissions, etc.

It was weird to have that feeling as if the world were ending in front of me, with lost hope - not going to lie...

Then I realized, I had college to look forward to.

Denver, Colorado - Seven months away, I can picture the goodbyes in my head, along with the picture of my parents gone, my friends with their own destiny at their own hands as they go on to different colleges - away from their families, meeting new friends, etc.

Then, I competed for C-CAP, a cooking competition, and suddenly, EVERYTHING CHANGED.

I got 40 grand (for those who don't know, it's forty thousand dollars) to go to the Culinary Institute of America, also known as the Harvard of cooking.

One condition... Maybe two, just let me list them anyway.

One is that I had to stay one more year and take my classes at a community college, second, I had to work at a professional kitchen for at least six months (my scholarship DOES have a due date), and keep a 3.0.

Basically, this scholarship that I got made my heart burst and made me almost cry to tears (of happiness of course), since I didn't know I was going to do THAT well for the level that I performed.

Not saying that I want it, but as of this point, this scholarship feels like the girlfriend that I knocked up - I'm stuck with it forever, and if I ditched it, I'm basically fucked.

After thinking that way, a stream of thoughts ran through my head.

I have to go to church for one more year with my mom (and I dislike it)

My senior friends are all gone to college of their choices, and I'm here getting to mine, starting from scratch, at a community college (once again, one of my greatest fears, community college), as it makes me feel unsuccessful compared to those who are going there in a matter of months (at least three, I suppose) 

So basically, part of it is jealousy.

And my last worry is this - If my friends are all gone to college, and my friends at Westchester, who some, to be completely honest, I'm uncertain about because I haven't bonded with them much are genuine friends of mine, since I can't relate to them in terms of whatever the fad is, or what to talk to them about, etc. (Much is the same with my senior friends, but I've been around them for four years, and it's just going to feel weird)

When I told the panel that I was willing to make the sacrifice(a year of community college, and kitchen experience) to get to the best (CIA), I didn't know that problems like this would start flowing at the moment that I thought of it.

The  anxiety after leaving YnG does not affect my future much, as I know that I always have a connection to these people and can talk to them later, but this anxiety that I have now, the scholarship, will affect me in the future that if I dent my reputation one bit, that scholarship will be gone faster than President Obama ever said hope, and I'm stuck here for a long period of time... and I don't want that.

I remember writing in my speech for graduation saying that "let the thought of you joining the real world scare you momentarily, but never let it scare you forever".

As of now, I can't live by my own words.  Though I know that this won't last forever, It still lingers now, and I just need something to get over it, but I'm not willing to do it through cigarrettes or alcohol, because it's just nasty....

Bitter Binge

If this won't make me feel any better, I don't know what will.

-----------------

I definitely understand how mothers tend to say "That could have been you" - it's an achievement, pride thing, I guess.  But this specific one doesn't really apply to any of that.

I remember going home on a Sunday from church, with my mom asking me if I had to go somewhere today, and I said yes.  I said, I was going to my friend's event.  And she(my mom) asks if I'm with her (in a relationship), I simply said no.  And she said, "Oh, I thought she was going to be with you, why didn't you go for it? Did you get beat?"

My first thought:  WHAT THE FUCK.

I wanted to say it, right there and then, but I didn't want to do it on her favorite day, and on a four day weekend.  That would suck major balls, and I just don't want to pull an Aubrey.

Ever since then, it somewhat has been awkward for me seeing this person.  Awkward, but I can be mature about it, have a good conversation, but every now and then, I start thinking to myself:   I did get beat to it.

In fact, why do I even care?

Here's my second thought:  I remember Dakota was telling stories in the bus, and he's said this one where you "do" some girl one night, and when you're in the beach doing your thing, and she runs off, waves to you, you ask yourself "why did you do that?"

Same situation applies to me currently, but I didn't do someone in the process (thankfully), but it makes me remember one night, where I'm forced to be satisfied with it, because of memories captured in paper, or posted in facebook, and whatnot.

Not saying that I was satisfied with it, but, it somewhat didn't feel like the way I wanted it.  I'm not a perfectionist, but there is a side of me where I want to feel good as to what I'm doing, whether if it is halfassed or not.

Even if I did get the date that I wanted, and some people know who it is, and maybe she knows herself as to who she is - there is no point to satisfaction.  I might have gotten the right date, but I didn't do enough, as in pick a crappy corsage, spent too much, bored her to tears - I don't really know the common problems for dating, or "dating", and the whatnot.

Here's my third thought:  Westchester High screwed me over, and I want my fucking refund.

Instead of spending only two hundred dollars on a yearbook and cap and gown, these people, yes, these people advertised senior packages, but not the cap and gown package only.

Either I didn't read the paper right, or they baited and switched me.  I have no freaking idea.

That, or I forgot the other option: They put it in really small print.

Once again, what the flying fuck.

I saw the senior packages, and one is a memory book that looks gay as fuck with some madlibs shit on it.  Really, dude?  That, and it had tickets to senior breakfast and picnic, which as to this day, I'm still raging aobut because I didn't get my package, and didn't go to the breakfast.

And to think, I was so hungry this morning, that I only ate a freaking fast-one bar, or whatever the heck it is with thirtyfive percent amount of fiber for the day bar... still delicious anyway.

I know that I've been enjoying the simple pleasures of life far too much, but living under this concept has screwed me over so many times that I could have banked in on chances, so many chances, that I'm just letting it all out at this point.  

When I said that there is no point to satisfaction, there is no point to satisfaction - it's only temporary, and another problem comes up again to bother and destroy you emotionally to pieces.

Really, can my eighteen days of high school just be up, have my break, and take this dick off my ass temporarily?

Jump Start

Wow, haven't posted in a while...

I remember writing my graduation speech a couple weeks back....

But here's a really quick backtrack:

My congratulations go first to Tobin and Kendra for getting Valedictorian and Salutatorian, respectively.  As a prize for such a prestige, they both get speeches.  To be really honest, I'm somewhat jealous that they get to deliver a speech.

But wait.  Opportunity knocks.  Speech Contest, let's go.

And back to the real post.

I remember writing so many drafts in Kamm's class, how I've tried to backtrack from six or seven years back.  (According to Wolfram Alpha, I have been here six years and fifty two days)

Then, I realized that it didn't work, and instead, I focused on the present, focusing a point in my weekend in Colorado.  (Can't say much, because if this actually gets in, then I get to give a speech! HOOPS!)

I've realized as I was writing this speech was that time flies by so fast that it cannot fit in a two minute speech.  These moments, as much as we want to brag about them, will never get a chance to shine on the big stage, in front of many people, having a laughter or a quick tear.

Moments that lived upon us in eighteen years of our living lives in our hearts.  We program ourselves to keep what we want to keep, what we want to delete, we are programmed permanently to remember some things that turned our lives upside down, three sixty - whichever your favorite expression may be.

That, and the secret to a speech is the secret to good food, or anything good in general:  It comes from the heart.

Jump Start

Wow, haven't posted in a while...

I remember writing my graduation speech a couple weeks back....

But here's a really quick backtrack:

My congratulations go first to Tobin and Kendra for getting Valedictorian and Salutatorian, respectively.  As a prize for such a prestige, they both get speeches.  To be really honest, I'm somewhat jealous that they get to deliver a speech.

But wait.  Opportunity knocks.  Speech Contest, let's go.

And back to the real post.

I remember writing so many drafts in Kamm's class, how I've tried to backtrack from six or seven years back.  (According to Wolfram Alpha, I have been here six years and fifty two days)

Then, I realized that it didn't work, and instead, I focused on the present, focusing a point in my weekend in Colorado.  (Can't say much, because if this actually gets in, then I get to give a speech! HOOPS!)

I've realized as I was writing this speech was that time flies by so fast that it cannot fit in a two minute speech.  These moments, as much as we want to brag about them, will never get a chance to shine on the big stage, in front of many people, having a laughter or a quick tear.

Moments that lived upon us in eighteen years of our living lives in our hearts.  We program ourselves to keep what we want to keep, what we want to delete, we are programmed permanently to remember some things that turned our lives upside down, three sixty - whichever your favorite expression may be.

That, and the secret to a speech is the secret to good food, or anything good in general:  It comes from the heart.

Musical Chairs, and Time.

There is one concept in life that doesn't sit right with me:  Moving On.

It truly is a pain to watch someone enjoy something while I'm at home not doing that something that someone else is doing.  The worst part is that this "something" is a thing that I, or some of the people I knew wanted to do.

It is a mixture of emotions, really.  Happy that someone else got to experience what I once experienced, Sad that I only got to see it in pictures, Angry as to how it was all SIP, and how I couldn't see the people that I knew inside or out of Westchester once again.

The most ironic thing about this though, is that I wanted for this to happen.  I said before (and I'm pretty sure that every person graduating has) is that we just want high school to be over.  It is finally getting over, as we are going through the last stages of April, then in a matter of days, it's the AP test.  After that's done, what's next?

The irony in our wishes or things that we say is far too general that is merely a basic idea, something that we can all agree upon.  Once that this "wish" actually goes by, there is a certain part that you don't want to leave:  A high school relationship, your starting spot on a sports team, or that one club you joined a year later because you were too fucking lazy, or intimidated to ask.

(That above obviously involves me, minus the relationship - like a legit one, not friendships, not that I don't want them, it's just time for something new.)

As much as I hate to say it, the concept of moving on is much like an ugly chick walking by that when given a makeover, it blossoms into something beautiful, something that you'd want to have sex with or simply "fap" to.  (Perhaps, that's just me, but other guys can agree to such a statement).  I am not alone in this experience, but this is pretty much the same feeling that I had after leaving my hometown.  It probably doesn't sit right with me right now, but as the days go by, some things will come to form, and some of these things might surprise ourselves, and one day, this surprise might bring you back once again to that someone or something that you once loved.

DC0419091145PM

Musical Chairs, and Time.

There is one concept in life that doesn't sit right with me:  Moving On.

It truly is a pain to watch someone enjoy something while I'm at home not doing that something that someone else is doing.  The worst part is that this "something" is a thing that I, or some of the people I knew wanted to do.

It is a mixture of emotions, really.  Happy that someone else got to experience what I once experienced, Sad that I only got to see it in pictures, Angry as to how it was all SIP, and how I couldn't see the people that I knew inside or out of Westchester once again.

The most ironic thing about this though, is that I wanted for this to happen.  I said before (and I'm pretty sure that every person graduating has) is that we just want high school to be over.  It is finally getting over, as we are going through the last stages of April, then in a matter of days, it's the AP test.  After that's done, what's next?

The irony in our wishes or things that we say is far too general that is merely a basic idea, something that we can all agree upon.  Once that this "wish" actually goes by, there is a certain part that you don't want to leave:  A high school relationship, your starting spot on a sports team, or that one club you joined a year later because you were too fucking lazy, or intimidated to ask.

(That above obviously involves me, minus the relationship - like a legit one, not friendships, not that I don't want them, it's just time for something new.)

As much as I hate to say it, the concept of moving on is much like an ugly chick walking by that when given a makeover, it blossoms into something beautiful, something that you'd want to have sex with or simply "fap" to.  (Perhaps, that's just me, but other guys can agree to such a statement).  I am not alone in this experience, but this is pretty much the same feeling that I had after leaving my hometown.  It probably doesn't sit right with me right now, but as the days go by, some things will come to form, and some of these things might surprise ourselves, and one day, this surprise might bring you back once again to that someone or something that you once loved.

DC0419091145PM

The Birthday Analogy

There is that one feeling prior to my birthday that I really get excited about:  The idea that I'm one year closer to be able to drink, to vote, to drive by myself, etc, or simply one year closer to death, or one year closer to independency, to success, to party.

Then, the event comes.  You get that magic number, you've had your moments, and then the next day, it feels like nothing happened, as if it was a normal day.

That is pretty much what I'm feeling at this point.  I don't even know how the hype for a certain event came to form, or why it was even brought up.  I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't want to go through with it, but I guess due to some tradition that has lasted for centuries, I guess I had to.

This is how bad it is to have so much thought swimming around in my head.  I don't know what to say, or I don't know whether to be straightforward or vague.  

Probably, it's because of this birthday analogy of getting gifts.  I guess that perfectly suits my point quite well.

If I wanted a car, and knowing me, being a teenager and my mom being a cheap, insurance agent, I'm pretty confident that I'm going to get the shitty old car with carpets that smell like cat piss, and an exterior that has possibly been scratched by cats. 

Then, on my birthday, I get a car that is brand new.  Leather interior, leather everything, GPS, bling on the rims, a sick sound system.... It's like, "What the hell did I fucking do to get this?", Where's the one that I expected to get?  

I still can't believe that life gave me the car that I didn't expect to get.  I mean I did want it before, but I've gone to accept the fact that I wasn't getting the shiny car.  Hell, I've accepted it that I told myself that I wasn't going to buy a car, and instead get a moped - something totally different from a car.

But now, I don't even know.  Do I return the car, or do I run away with it and have a joyride?

A New Leaf.

I realized something:  I cannot kill this blog.

I've made attempts to make a fresh start by at least attempting to make a new blog with no posts in it.  I've used titles such as "Like Dude, Seriously", "Dan-dified", or "For Everyone's Eyes Only".

Thinking of titles for the new blog got really stressful that I didn't even have the time to write the blog that I was planning to write itself.  I was also thinking about transferring all my better stuff into the new blog site.

I thought about it a couple minutes back and said:

"Man, all I need to do is to delete a couple of blogs, and change the title of the blog!"

So I did.

Even though this blog is for everyone's eyes only, It seems rather unoriginal as I took it from "For Stevie Wonder's Eyes Only", a song from Bring Me The Horizon.  That, and if I publish a blog for everyone in the world to read, then it truly is a given or else, I would go through the trouble of limiting it to a certain amount of readers, which probably won't even read it.

That, and I thought about the deleting thing, and I think that I'm not going to delete any of my past blogs, except for a draft here and there, as well as that notification of me making a new blog, since it's obviously bogus.  That, and every artist has had crappy work (except they're obviously in the ruins or stashed somewhere, who knows)

With college basketball season over, and the baseball season just starting, I think it's appropriate to say that the title for this blog is....

(look above. :])

A good day.

I woke up twenty five minutes later than usual, didn't rush in the shower, and got a legitimate breakfast.  

It really does so far seem like a really good day.

We then talked about a narrative about George Bernard Shaw's piece on how he was rather amused by his mother's cremation in addition to a twenty minute free time in first period.

It continues to be a really good day.

Second period, we warmed up with one problem, got some help on the test (I needed a good score, and some help, and definitely used it to my advantage).  Then yeah, besides Elliott dicking with my calculator...

It still was a good day.

Third period, we watched President Obama's press conference from two days ago.  I almost fell asleep (I really dont ahve a thing for Press Conferences...), but we didn't do anything else... Therefore...

It still was a good day.

Then fourth period, exhibition match against Narbonne.  I was pretty sure we had this on the bag, but then Amir lost.  Alex and James as a team lost.  Oliver and Allan as a team won their match.  We seemed down.  Then the next batch of matches came.  Patrick loses.  Leandrew wins, Jonas wins in a third setter.  Meaning... It came down to me and Josh, and long story short, we won, 4-3 as a team. Me and Josh took it home today, even though it was an exhibition.  It really felt good.

Yeah, you get my message.  It is a good day.

I'm now here typing this blog with no worry in the world except for one.  Will my day be better tomorrow?  

I sure hope so.

'

Youth Movement

Today, I handed over "my car keys" to my mom, simply saying that I refuse to drive, or accept it, since it's only a symbol of her giving me the middle finger. Either that, or I'm actually finally starting to feel the economic strain that this country is experiencing.

It's not so much that I refuse to drive, it's something called an Insurance Policy that prevents me from doing it. My mom says that my stepdad hasn't paid his bills, but she's willing to pay for it if either I am enthused by the idea of church, and its affiliates (Youth Group, etc.).

As we were having this discussion in the car, I gave reasons to my mother such as:

1. People who have religious beliefs think they are far more superior, since they have something that is called "God" with them.
2. Church is boring, and it doesn't really entertain me these days. I mean, it's simply a man on stage preaching the practical thing. Common sense, more like. And does it really take some sort of place to learn such values of common sense? (I know, the concept itself is rather broad).

I forgot what other reasons I have, but those two are my main ones.

I also know that by writing this, I am not creating friends, and I hope I'm not creating enemies either (your opinions are however, accepted. Fire away).

The main reason why I don't trust my mom on things is that her logic is based on a religious mindset, and it really upsets me to think that whatever she says is always credible, and I just want practical advice, none of that "godly bs" that she feeds me from time to time.

I really do hate the fact that she's trying to convince me to join another Youth group. I've experienced it before, and I didn't have as much fun as I wanted to, and because of that, why should I give it another chance? Why should I meet people who I believe are far more superior than me, because they have that "godly bs" knowledge.

Really, why should I give this another shot?

So that I could make that woman called my mother make me happy?
So that I could drive again?
So that I could have more friends?
Because I have nothing better to do?

Everytime I think about it, I am simply a male version of my mother, and I hate it so much.

The sound of her voice is so annoying, that I don't want to be near her as much as possible.
Her logic is so stupid that I don't even want to take advice from her.
Her way of life is so unorthodox that it deprives me of some better opportunities out there.

I don't even know. All this, simply because one wanted me to go to some Youth Group that I never want to experience again.

As much as I believe that there is no reason for me to go back, as being told that my "faith is drifting away", I'm gonna go back and give this another shot. The reasons, I will not state publicly, but here's one thing.

I'm not out there to make my mother happy.
I'm out there for myself.

One Shining Moment

I remember sitting at Westchester’s annual Youth and Government (YnG) End of The Year Banquet as the advisors were getting ready to present this year’s awards.  First up was the Outstanding Senior of the Year.  As my lead advisor announced this, I remember a voice in the back yelling “It’s D-Man!, It’s D-Man!” (D-Man is my nickname).  After a brief description of the winner, there were drum rolls, then a moment of silence.  It was me.  I got up, the cameras are flashing, and people are yelling “Speech! Speech!”.  If I would have given one that night, it would have been too long or it wouldn’t come out right so I took a couple pictures and a bow and proceeded on with the night cheering and congratulating my other friends as they got their awards and as they were elected into office.  Every person has a shining moment in his life, and this was mine… so far.

Joining the Youth and Government Program is one of the best choices that I made in my life along with the decision to go here in the States about eight years ago.  But the real question is:  What is Youth and Government’s correlation to C-CAP? 

Youth and Government is the Sauvignon Blanc to my Bouillabaisse of a culinary career.  Before Youth and Government I thought I was a hot shot: one with a certain swagger that with my intelligence and charm I could be on the top of the world or be the world itself.  But I was wrong.  I remember my first Youth and Government experience in Spring Conference having to debate a proposal where nothing can make up for the lack of my intelligence in such a subject.  I remembered having to convince a room of fifty or more people why a proposal (which I knew nothing about) was worth passing, and it took only one Con Speaker (a person against the proposal) to shoot it down completely.  After that, I remembered asking myself: “This is only Spring Conference, a preview of the YnG year with five hundred or so people and I’m easily beaten?  How would I do during at Sacramento, the real deal, when 2400 people are there?  How many people are better than me? ALL 2399 of them?”. That weekend, I simply lived with that thought in mind, went home, and waited for Camp Roberts and Sacramento.

In my first year in Youth and Government coming into the gym in Camp Roberts, I was simply amazed by the surroundings, with the hundreds of people cheering their hearts out in battles of “We have spirit yes we do, we got spirit, how about you” chants and other delegation cheers such as “CPY what time is it?” along with the campaign posters going around, with people in suits on a hot day walking around asking for my vote.  After the gym experience, we were now in sessions and every time someone walked up in front to speak, I felt like that person was always better than me in everything I thought I am good at such as debating, or making new friends.  It was irritating. I knew I had the fight left in me but I simply gave up thinking that if someone is better than me, then I have no realistic chance of beating them.  This feeling lasted in all the major conferences in Youth and Government, and I didn’t have fun all outside the inner circle that is the Westchester Delegation.

During the summer (YnG only goes on during the school year), I realized that I was inside looking out as I wanted to be someone else that I wasn’t.  I wanted to be in the same league as the Youth Governor where everyone knew his name and his voice, where everyone wanted his opinions on certain issues as well as his acquaintance.  I forgot what Westchester was all about:  it was simply all about having fun while being practical.  Our advisors didn’t care if we were being stupid in debating for a bill as long as it was relevant. Our advisors didn’t care as much with our camp pranks as long as it didn’t harm anyone.  This was the inspiration for the promise that I made prior to my senior year: to go all out, have fun and leave nothing on the table.  As the events in the Youth and Government year went by, I did what I said and I became a part of Westchester as a part of last year’s officer team as Delegation Secretary. Through this position, I met people, learned all their names and their personalities by making conversation past the “Hi” and “How are you doing?” stage.  I went to Camp Roberts and wore my “I HAVE A CULINARY BONER” shirt and became known for it.  I spoke my thoughts with passion, with knowledge, with a swagger that I never thought I would ever have. With these deeds, plus more, not only did I make friendships inside my delegation, but I also outside of it. I never felt better in my life than this Youth and Government year despite having its share of patches.  These moments, these deeds are much like stars, little sparkling stars that if clustered together creates one big shine of light, creating one shining moment.

            The answer to the question earlier “What is Youth and Government’s correlation to C-CAP?”  is this:  There are some events from the past that we can connect through our experiences now, and there are some people from other places that inspire us to do something.  For example, I remember coming in C-CAP for the first time last year, having the same confidence as I did much like being in my first YnG experience in Spring Conference.  I went to the training session last year and thought that I would dominate  when it turned out that I had no clue as to how to tournée a potato or make a thin crepe, with a chef judge telling me that I could not go anywhere else but up.  This proved to be true as I was one, and only guy of the four juniors selected for an opportunity for a weekend in New York, but did not get it.

            Both the Youth and Government and C-CAP programs have humbled me as it presented a message that all beginnings are humble, that I cannot be a teenage prodigy or a Hollywood Hotshot without paying my dues.  The past is the past, the present is now, and the future can only be better.  My simple blueprint for the future is to experience the college life, serve my time and pay my debts.  Depending on where the future takes me, I want to have at least two restaurants: Eversoul (The proposed name for Westchester High’s Cooking Club) and Sacramento (Youth and Government), and/or be on either Iron Chef, Top Chef, or The Next Food Network Star.  Some people might not take me seriously and say these dreams are childish, but I’m willing to tell my friend to put “To be an Iron Chef” under my plans for the future, then it will happen.  I do not believe in having a timeline, but I believe that if I do what I am supposed to be doing with quality and passion while doing it on a reasonably fast pace, then everything would come to me from the restaurants, money, fame, or any other accolades that a chef can gather during his lifetime.

            Joining C-CAP last year as a junior has given me the chance to share my story as to why I wanted to be a chef through being a religious follower of Food Network and any other culinary show that is currently in existence.  I believe that it is time for me to be a slave to society where I pay back my debt of happiness and the support that they have been providing me by integrating the values that I learned in experiences past whether it be from Youth and Government, Westchester High School, or at home.  To those who support me in this journey are already my family, and to those who doubt, I want them to be a part of my family by proving them wrong.  These people will be my fuel to success, and dousing it on a spark of opportunity creates a new shining moment, one that I can savor much like a meal of bouillabaisse and white wine.

Life Goes On

I thought blogging was supposed to bring me up somewhere in life.

Now, it just seems to be my undoing.

There have been rumors flying around that I was going to do something that related to a blog before. I swear, I thought no one ever read these things despite my attempts in the past to advertise such product, but what the hell.

I simply deleted the blog, for a couple of reasons:

1. I wanted to silence a rumor
2. It was too much, even for myself to handle.

I wanted to silence a rumor, simply because I wanted this "project" lowkey. As in the past, I never dealt well with rumors and such going around, and I didn't want this one to be like that either (for my sanity at least).

I would also say that even though the deleted blog is one of my better blogs yet with a perfectly nailed allusion, I would say that the code itself is easy to break (that, and along with my writing style, it seems to be really obvious and blunt)

Ironic how I deleted a blog to silence a rumor, and yet here I am writing one, and it's definitely not helping my cause.

But whatever. I could really care less at this point, since my emotions are rock bottom, that while I'm at it, I might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Yeah, I'll leave it as that because if some people have heard the rumor, and can put two and two together, then you probably know what happened.

The Last Supper

Yesterday was Westchester's annual End-Of-Year banquet and Lock-In.

I don't even know where to start, simply because it has so many amazing points to begin with... I guess I'll just go chronologically.

First off, we had food provided by Vinny's - We had Alfredo, Mixed Greens, and a Spicy Tomato/Mushroom/Cheese Angel Hair Pasta Mixture with Rigatoni with Marinara Sauce.  I can't describe food for my life, but at least I'm trying.

My tablemates are amazing, as always.  It's fun to hear Timmy quoting Step-Brothers(I might watch that movie again just for the hell of it,  Max recounting Spencer's election speech on how he saw a tall giraffe, took it and now is his wallpaper, but endorsing Scott anyway to win the position because well, he doesn't have a camera and Joey and Tarrin stuff-facing themselves.

And then came the awards.  To the best of my memory, here are the people who got them:

Delegate of The Year - Alex Soelter

Advisors Award - Oliver Adams

Outstanding Senior - Daniel Castro 

Rookie of The Year - Brandon Kim

Forum - Spencer London

Court - Nik Soelter

Legislature - Robert Espinoza

Page/Media - Elena Ioudina

NIC - Jeff Day

Advisor - Stephanie Foster

SIP - Tommy Skahill

I would write a piece about each person, but I guess that's another blog.

And now, for next year's officers

Activities Chair - Aubrey Van De Wetering

Elections Manager - Tatiana August-Schmidt

Parliamentarian - Christian Collins

Historian - Scott Tolton

Chaplain - Elena Ioudina

Sergeant at Arms - Robert Espinoza

Treasurer - Bita Minaravesh

Clerk - Bianca De La Vega

Vice President - Marisa Mito

President - Chris Adams

In the behalf of last year's officer team, we give you our blessing and our trust to bring our delegation into greater heights, with more people winning statewide positions, more people going to CONA, getting Premier Delegation, and a stronger bond than before.  With this bond stronger than ever, you are no longer a force to be reckoned with.  You will be at the top, and sit there for a long time.

I also want to give a shoutout for those other people who ran: Patrick Bennett, Alex August-Schmidt, Eileen Cheng, Timmy McKinley, Max Ramey, Joey Breese, India Purnell, Spencer London, Drew Hancock, Jacklynn Morris, Brandon Kim, Tanner Webb, Nina Benton and Natalie Friedricks.

There is no harm in losing, especially with the turnout for the elections this year.  Be a part of a force.  Every single delegate, including the officers themselves are the force that makes this delegation powerful.  Always remember that you have the choice to lead.  You took the path, and I want to applaud, hug, or shake your hand for that.  In the words of Chuck Noll (not sure really), you learn a page when you win, and a book if you lose.  In short, you gain just as much as those who won.

Moving on...

Beyond the food, the slideshow, the chocolates, the helium and the awards, we now go to the better part of the night:  

Lock In.

Lock In, in a simple definition is pure amazement.  We get locked in the YMCA until seven in the morning, do whatever the heck we can do (as long as it is Y-Rated, of course).

I was pretty psyched about this lock-in because there is this tradition that goes on for the seniors: Diddy Rieses.  The deal about this place is that they sell Ice Cream Sandwiches.  Sounds simplistic, right?  Wrong.

First off, this place is in Westwood.  I actually got to see UCLA from the outside(which was really cool, for the lack of a better word, and I didn't even know it was THAT near).  That, and the line was so long that it was worse than Tito's - no hyperbole there, but it was worth the wait, I got 3 dozen cookies for 11.75.  Not bad.  But I don't think the dude gave me thirty six...

However, here are some of my highlights at Diddy Rieses:

1. Indian Boner Jamz - Nik needs to burn me that CD.  That, and the annoying German Song that if Chris White heard it again, he would kill himself.

2. Just Dood It - Lynora gave me the suggestion for this shirt.  And I will do it.

3. Nik's Ice Cream Sandwich - I remember it was a snickerdoodle with some ice cream in the middle.  Gave me a culinary boner, nonetheless.

But seriously, I'm going to go back there someday and get an ice cream sandwich for myself...

At the actual lock in, I put my cookies down by my bag (you know where this is going).  I played some hoops with Patrick and Timmy, then decided to go on the pool, swim, and play some kinda "monkey-in-the-middle" kind of game, just tossing around water polo balls, and wrestling our asses off, I guess (obviously Lifeguards had to stop us there).  

When I got at the pool, I saw John (I hope Logan doesn't read blogs).  He said that he might not make it, so I was kind of upset, for a lack of a better word.  To come back from a sweet place (literally) to see him (yeah, he's extra special to a degree, no homo), I literally just took my shirt off, put my towel and shirt to the side and jumped in, only to tell me that I should have showered first.

Oops.

I could tell that the time lasted shorter than I thought, as it was already one in the morning (after all, you can only soak yourself in water for so long, or there's a time restriction for it to clean the filth of 85 delegates).  After playing in water, a lot of us dispersed into different places.  Some people were listening to Jason Butler's philosophies in life, some of us were playing HORSE, playing half court basketball shirts vs. skins, watching the half basketball game, racketballing, volleyball in the racketball room, basking in relaxation or hoarding a lot of food.

I'm pretty sure that people can attest to whichever statement as they know what they did after one in the morning.

After that, nothing happened, except this one event:

Me and Nina were walking together in the kitchen, as she wanted some cake.  She gets some for herself, and I playfully get some frosting, and put it in her face, and she goes on to say: "You did not just cake me".  I walk away to check the poker game that I was on (apparently, I went out too early).

I came back once again, and I asked her where she's been.  She said she's been walking around.  (I mean, really, what are better things to do than walk around?  Watch Slumdog Millionaire? Perhaps.).  She said that she wanted cake again.  And so we go to the kitchen, but this time, I distance myself away from her because I didn't want to get frosting on my face.  It's a terrible feeling.

She then asks me to come next to her, and I said no, since I'm paranoid of being caked and nothing else, to be quite honest.  She insisted that I was paranoid about something else (but I really wasn't - I tried to prove my point, but epically failed).  She said that if I didn't tell her what I was paranoid about, she would stop the conversation.  It happened.

I walked to the room, and saw Brandon's note lying around, and below that was a piece of paper and a pen.  It could only mean one thing:  Catharsis.

I don't exactly know what I wrote, but all I knew is that I was paranoid about what my life would be after Youth and Government.  Would I live a life of mediocrity once again, with a routine life of homework, sleep and tennis?  Would I meet people just as amazing as these people?

Ladies and Gentlemen, as I was writing this blog, I felt Peter Pan's presence around me as I never wanted to grow up.  I wanted to be a delegate forever.  Then I remember Case's voice:  Everything must come to an end.  Even if I want to avoid the inevitable and say "Should it?", I don't want to say it anymore as it is merely consolation, something that stimulates in my opinion a further cause for depression as it only stops the damage, and not repairs it.

In this lock-in, I finally accepted the fact that nothing lasts forever, as we have to move on, and keep writing chapters in our life.  Jamie told me as she hugged me tightly, that to take what I learned from here and apply it somewhere else, as I can do great things with it.  For people to have that much faith in me is truly amazing, powerful, and belongs to one of my memories that I can remember despite being shitfaced (referring to my last blog).

After writing this blog, I literally looked around the Y for Nina, only to give, and read it to her, saying that "If you want an answer, then this is your answer".  I read it with a tired and rather crappy accent, but it was well worth it.  That note, as she told me is now up in her wall (which is why I don't remember it word per word, but the concept of it I remember), and I almost killed three birds with one stone: My own satisfaction, to answer a question, and to make Jamie Buckley almost cry (unintentional however, but I was close, as she told me).

I got home, slept, and been uploading pictures for three hours now as well as composing this blog.  No grammatical edits, therefore full of errors, but try to stay with me when you read it.  

Tomorrow, I live my life once again.  But this time, I'm not alone.  I have 84 delegates in my heart, plus a couple statewide, ten advisors, and friends that are not in YnG lingering in my heart.  The thought of you guys makes me happy, and inspire me to do great things.  If it weren't for you all, I don't know what I would be doing today, or who my inspiration for every tennis game I play, or every meal that I cook.

The power of thinking without thinking - SAT Essay

"People usually assume that the quality of a decision is directly related to the time and effort that went into making it.  We believe that we are always better off gathering as much information as possible and then spending as much time as possible analyzing that information.  But there are times when making a quick judgment is the best thing to do.  Decisions made quickly can be as good without decisions made slowly and cautiously"

- Adapted from Malcolm Gladwell

(The content below is my SAT essay... cut off in thought, just straight up thirty minutes of bullshit.)

Picture it, a tennis match between the two greatest tennis players of all time:  Pete Sampras, and Roger Federe.  Flashes of elegance through movement by Federer and Herculean strength through his serve and volley game that Sampras exemplifies.  Rallies back and forth and one or the other could not break each other for neither is comfortable with their opponent's style.  The message that is being conveyed is is that a decision made quickly (Serve and Volley), or Federer's fluidity in court gives him more chances to win through the rally (which is usually longer than a serve and volley point), represents the slowly and carefully thought out decision, is just as good as the other depending on the player who makes them in the tennis court of life.

An example of a quick decision is the future.  I am a college peer counselor at my school, and I get to hear a lot of futures (prospective) by these people.  They mention the fact that they want to go to certain schools (USC, UCLA and such), but show uncertainty in the process of doing so, without the awareness of their performance in school or what their future is.  With uncertainty comes failure, but if one says at a childhood age that he or she pursues to be a doctor, works hard consistently, graduating valedictorian in middle, high school and college, then he or she is on the path to success.

A perfect example for a well thought out decision is an Iron Chef dish.  Given the fact that the Iron Chef nor his opponent know what the secret ingredient is, along wit with the fact that they have to make five dishes in a span of an hour will drive them bananas (no food pun intended - but definitely obvious).  Even though they are only given fifteen minutes to make a "quick" decision, it might as well be thought out for these chefs have vast knowledge of food unlike the kids I peer counseled who have no awareness of their future, their major, or what their breakfast is tomorrow.  However, a well thought out decision is a double edged sword.  I remember watching Top Chef and a judge asked if the contestant if he or she had a solid plan coming to the finale and said now, to which her explanation was: "If I planned to cook a certain dish for the finale and the ingredients were not there, then I'm screwed".  This shows that sometimes.....

Time's Up.

Stupid time limits.